Under a Canopy of Blessing

by Richard Edfeldt

I woke up today and started my routine like any other morning … took the 3 dogs out for their first walk of the day and brought them back in for their morning feeding.  Then I fixed my first cup of coffee when I was reminded of the significance of the day.

Today is the 8^th anniversary of Jacob’s second heart transplant

Yes, these anniversaries of special events in Karen and my life still affect us.  Our emotions are still stirred.  We may not weep as much as we have in past years due to time’s way of equipping our coping mechanism to handle such occasions more effectively.  But the melancholy is still there, the grieving of who and what is missed still bubbles toward the surface a little more forcibly on days like today.

But today is one of anniversaries where we celebrate a day when we were able to ‘renew the lease’ on Jacob’s life, albeit at the horrifying cost of another and that person’s family.

I always approach these days as an opportunity to write something.  It is a way to share a tribute to Jacob’s life – a way of helping me to remember – and a way to allowing you to share in the memories.  I know some are hesitant to speak of Jacob because you think it brings pain to us.  I will admit that often when we speak of a time in his life with someone who shared that event, a tear does come and a catch in our voice does occur.  However we agree with Elizabeth Edwards, who also lost a child, who said:

“If you know someone who has lost a child or lost anybody who’s important to them, and you’re afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died, they didn’t forget they died. You’re not reminding them. What you’re reminding them of is that you remember that they lived, and that’s a great, great gift.”

So I will continue to post these remembrances and my feelings for as long as they come to me.  There may come a day (which almost happened last year, http://embracinggrief.blogspot.com/2014/11/some-would-say-this-is-good-thing-if-so.html) when an anniversary will slip by or a time will come when I feel that I have nothing to share.  But today is not that day.

But let me get back to what started this today - that first cup of coffee. The cup that jogged my memory is special because it was one that Jacob had made for us back in 2006 (Little did we know that a year later what we would be enduring).  We have several ‘works of art’ that Jacob made at a pottery shop we frequented back then.  The shop would have different things already made that you could choose from and then paint. They would then glaze and fire them for you.  We have a chips &dip bowl and a creeping frog among several things that Jacob enjoyed painting and giving to us. They may not garner many bids for them on Ebay but they are priceless pieces of art to us. This coffee cup is one of those and this day it brought this memory from November 15, 2007.

Karen and I have shared other times about that day.  Here are those articles:

11/15/09 - http://embracinggrief.blogspot.com/2015/02/november-15-2nd-anniversary-of-surreal.html

11/14/10 – (by Karen) http://embracinggrief.blogspot.com/2010/11/november-14-what-day.html

11/15/13 –  http://embracinggrief.blogspot.com/2013/11/another-anniversary-by-richard.html

The memory that came to mind today was the last moments before Jacob was carted away to his second heart transplant surgery. Karen mentioned it in her posting by in 2010.

We had received word that a heart had been located and was being transported to Egleston around midnight ushering in November 15.  Four hours later, the team of surgical nurses and technicians came with a gurney to cart off Jacob from his ICU stall.  Remember now, this was a children’s hospital so at that time Jacob was one of the oldest ‘residents’ of ICU.  All the other patients were infants or small children and all were asleep or could not grasp the severity and sacredness of the moment.

But as we escorted Jacob and his medical entourage down the long center aisle of the ICU, each doctor, nurse, and technician paused from what they were doing and whispered a blessing on Jacob of some sort …

“Love you, Jake”

“See you soon, Jacob”

“Godspeed, Jakey”

Or they would say nothing but salute him with a ‘thumbs up’ sign as we slowly walked under that wonderful canopy of blessing and prayer.  What a solemn, holy moment!

I’ll save other memories for another anniversary but that one is one that will always be dear to Karen and me because of the bond we had with the excellent medical staff at Egleston and that canopy of blessing they provided on that eventful day eight years ago.