I'm Gonna Love You Like I'm Gonna Lose You

If you’ve known any of us Edfeldts for a while you know we love our music. And it encompasses a wide variety of styles. Some of us like instrumental jazz, some like classical, some like Christian, some like top 40,  a few of us like a little bit of country  while others like a little bit of rock and roll (my apologies to Donnie and Marie Osmond) and all of us like musical theater. 

Well,  there are some words to a recently top of the charts hit that were written for a different purpose but I feel they are very poignant on this day when my family recognizes that it was eight years ago that Jacob lost his lifelong battle with defective heart issues.

Meghan Trainor wrote a song titled “Like I’m Going to Lose You” after she had a nightmare that involved sensing that loved one of hers had died.  She woke up in a cold sweat and quickly reached out to touch that loved one and to be reassured as she heard the voice of that person. Then she penned these moving words:

I found myself dreaming ; In silver and gold
Like a scene from a movie; That every broken heart knows

we were walking on moonlight; And you pulled me close
Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone

I woke up in tears; With you by my side
A breath of relief
And I realized; No, we're not promised tomorrow

So I'm gonna love you; Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna hold you; Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing
I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when; When we'll run out of time

So I'm gonna love you; Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you

In the blink of an eye; Just a whisper of smoke
You could lose everything; The truth is you never know

Let's take our time; To say what we want
Use what we got; Before it's all gone
'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow

So I'm gonna love you; Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna hold you; Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing
I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when; When we'll run out of time

so I'm gonna love you; Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you

Fortunately, for Meghan Trainor it was a nightmare that she was able to wake up from.  But on June 14, 2009, our nightmare was realized and it goes on to this day.  In the eight years since Jacob died, we have made adjustments to become somewhat accustomed to living this nightmare. But we know that we won’t be able to wake up and reach out and touch Jacob again nor to hear his gravelly but sweet voice.

So we want to urge you to take the song’s words to heart. To those that you love, let them know of your love daily and don’t take it for granted that you can tell them tomorrow. Spend time talking to them and always end it with “I love you”. Do things together – things you like and things they like. Kiss them a little longer and more often.  Reach for their hand and hold it for no other reason than it may not be there to hold tomorrow. Hug them a little tighter and whisper in their ear, “I love you” because Karen and I can tell you …

.… we wish we could do so with Jacob today.