My Admiration Keeps Growing

by Richard Edfeldt

When Karen and I moved to Franklin, NC, last February we began doing all the things you do when you move to a new residence in a new place.  Since we had already owned our house for several years previously, we didn't have to worry about utilities and things like that. But we did need to do the 'change of address' thing with the post office, get our drivers licenses for a new state, and find new doctors and dentists.  We accomplished all of this over a period of time.

Our new doctor wanted to establish a baseline on us so we had to endure some blood work and other prodding in uncomfortable places (if you know what I mean).  That is when they discovered that my PSA level was too high, indicating a problem with my prostate gland. My brand new doctor then referred me to a urologist who did his own examination (much to my bent over embarrassment) and, after a few "hmmmmms" and ”uh-ohs", said I needed a prostate biopsy to check a nodule he discovered.

I'll skip over the joys of the biopsy experience and get to the results I received last Friday -

I have prostate cancer.

I'm not sharing this to gain your sympathy or to garner your prayers (probably the subject of a different blog).  The doctors have given a good spin to it, saying we caught it fairly early and that it is the ‘good’ kind of cancer’ (didn’t realize that was possible). They have also said I was on the lower end of the risk spectrum and that I have an excellent chance of successful treatment and continued good quality of life.  I loved that he said that I was still a young man and in good shape (I asked him to repeat that so I could record it on my pocket recorder for future pep talks).

But here are the lessons I'm learning.

First, I'm not a real good patient. I've been fortunate to be fairly healthy throughout my life. Of course, I've had my share of colds, viruses, and injuries. I've also had a few outpatient surgeries but I've never had to spend nights in a hospital as a patient. It sounds like that’s about to end … and I’m not looking forward to it. This leads me to the biggest lesson that has come forward ….

My admiration and love for Jacob Edfeldt continues to grow!

From day one in his life, he consistently faced and endured doctor’s visits, consultations, medical procedures involving needles, blood work and the like, surgeries, and extended hospital stays.  As much as I dread what’s coming around the bend for me, I can’t, for the life of me, see how Jacob handled all of those ‘dreaded experiences’ with such fortitude.

I’ve tried to recount what all he went through in his twenty-one years and I become ashamed of my own little bit of whining that I’m emoting about what I am facing.  I’m sure I’m missing some things, even though Karen and I were sitting beside him throughout each experience, but by my count, he underwent five open heart surgeries (including 2 heart transplants), a major thoracic surgery, a pacemaker insertion, at least 40 heart catheterizations, plus your normal assortment of doctor’s visits.

Now don’t get me wrong … he wasn’t a saint about it and he had his share of meltdowns and pity parties … but, for the most part, he understood what he had to face and, somehow, generated the willpower to endure each encounter with remarkable maturity, grace, faith, and even humor.

I am humbled to have been his father and can only hope I can display the same demeanor and courage as my son in the days ahead and with a diagnosis that sounds far less ominous than the one he faced every day of his life. I am a daddy who hopes to emulate his son.