Here I am again, facing another anniversary of Jacob's death. I haven't written on this blog in quite awhile, because frankly, it is just too hard. Writing is not therapeutic for me. When I start writing, I am taken back to some very difficult days that are just too hard to revisit. Tomorrow, we will spend the day with friends who were very close to Jacob. Katie will be coming up to spend the weekend with us. The grief is still just as deep and never leaves me. There are so many memories that will never be made. There are times that I have to isolate myself from others who will have the chance to make these memories with their children. It is very hard, almost impossible, to attend bridal showers, weddings, and baby showers of others. This seems to be a trigger for me and I have learned it is best to avoid them. So, as I said before, writing is not therapeutic. As I write now, the tears are flowing and I know from experience, they won't stop for a long time. It is time to go for a walk in the mountains and listen to some music from "Wicked" and "Les Mis" and other Broadway musicals. I'll sing along and know that Jacob is singing with me. I love you son and as always, your life will always be a handprint on my heart. Mom