Uncle Jacob

by Richard Edfeldt

A few days ago, I posted the following statement in Facebook:

I hate that I have to gauge significant events affecting me, my family, and/or my friends as BJD or AJD (before or after Jacob's death).

Regrettably but inevitably, that’s how I analyze when things have happened.  What brought this to mind recently was a posting from a niece of mine who celebrated the 6^th anniversary of the ‘Gottcha Day’ of their adopted daughter, Zoey.  My first reaction was, “Wow! It’s been six years already?” Then this reaction was quickly followed by, “Was Jacob alive when this happened?”  I quickly surmised, “Yes, he was”. Then I asked myself, “Did Jacob ever have the chance to meet Zoey?” That answer still eludes me.

This process goes on continually – “Was Jacob alive when ….

Barack Obama was elected president?” – Yes

The Atlanta Braves got back into the baseball playoffs?” – No

When I began working for LifeWay?” – Yes

When Karen was selected Teacher of the Year at Abney Elementary?” – Yes

When Tucker was born?” – Yes

When Libby was born?” – No

It goes on and on and on …..

It’s those last two that really do a number on me.  Jacob loved kids and was extremely proud to be an uncle.

We’ve told the story in a previous posting about how Ben and Beth, along with infant Tucker, rushed back to be at Jacob’s bedside when he received word of the availability of his second heart transplant.  We have pictures of Tucker dressed in a pumpkin sleeper being held securely in Uncle Jake’s arms.

 Jacob had a pet name for Tucker – Monkey. I’m not sure Ben and Beth approved of it so Uncle Jake would whisper it in Tucker’s ears when the parents were in the area. But Uncle Jake loved his little Monkey!  Jacob went so far as to get Tucker a Curious George stuffed animal and book.

I remember a few months before Jacob’s death, we went to Nashville to care for Tucker while Ben and Beth were attending Beth’s brother’s (Cooper Kandler) wedding.  Jacob spent as much time as he could babysitting Tucker throughout those few days.  I got a huge smile on my face to see them playing on the floor.  But, it also gave me a chill and tears brimmed in my eyes when I heard  Jacob, on the floor with Tucker, quietly say to him, “Will you remember me?”

“Will you remember me?”

After Jacob’s death, we kept his computer. It is one of those desktop styles with the tower CPU. We rarely use it any more, since we have our laptops and Ipads.  We still have the printer, too, and that’s the main use of the unit now – we wirelessly send our printing requests to Jacob’s computer which passes on the request to the printer.

We have finally gotten to the point where we acknowledge we don’t need that ‘antique’ computer set up any longer so today I sat down in front of that old computer and when I jostled the mouse, the screen saver came alive presenting picture after picture of Jacob with college friends – some on BCM mission trips, some at fraternity functions, or others showing him just horsing around the Shorter campus. It flooded the room with great memories.

 I said to myself  that we needed to save those pictures. But when I tried to access Jacob’s files it asked for the password. I was stymied! I tried to venture a guess and guessed wrong. But then the computer asked if I wanted a hint. I clicked on it and here was the hint:

MONKEY

That’s right, “Tucker” was the password! Uncle Jacob loved his nephew and his greatest desire was to watch him grow, to play ball with him, to take him to movies and take him to plays.  He wanted to be a part of his life and he wanted to be remembered.

Fortunately, Tucker was born BJD (Before Jacob’s Death) but probably was too close to it so he won’t have recollections of Jacob’s physical presence in his life. And sadly, Libby was born AJD (After Jacob’s Death). 

But I pledge to you, Jacob, that Tucker and Libby, and all future nieces and nephews of yours WILL REMEMBER who you are and that they will know that Uncle Jake loved them to infinity and beyond!