Katie & Andy's Parental Blessing (dated 12/5/14)

by Richard Edfeldt

After Jacob's death, Karen created this blog to record insights in her grief journey.  I would periodically write my insights on notes posted to my Facebook page.  We feel it would be best served if we combined our efforts so I am beginning the process of copying those notes to this blog.  They won't be in chronological order but I will put the original date on each one. 

I've had several people mention to me how special Katie and Andy's wedding ceremony was and I couldn't agree more ... it was a very special day.  Some have commented about my little 'inquiry' prior to giving my parental blessing asked for by Ben (who co-officiated the ceremony with me).  Here is what I said:

Parental blessing

Andy, for all of Katie’s life and even before her birth, I have both dreaded and gleefully anticipated this day.  But it has become very obvious, through the spring in her step when she’s with you, the lilt of her voice when she speaks of you, the shining countenance of her beautiful face anytime you are in the room ...  All of these give testimony that you are the one for her and this is the day we knew would come.

Throughout her life, Karen and I have tried to teach several things to Katie, by our words and by our actions. They that all revolve around one word – precious:

She is precious to God and to us:  We have faithfully shared this incredible belief to her. God created her and broke the mold. She is truly one of a kind; a unique blend of beauty, wisdom, personality, quirks, and capability. And just as we have taught her that she is precious and unique to God, we have also taught her to be respectful of others and their God-given uniquenesses.

Friends are precious: We have taught Katie that friends are a great source of joy, a source of strength when you have little, a source of wisdom when you are lacking, and yet, occasionally, a source of disappointment.  We have been there when, enviably, she has been hurt by a friend, like we all have experienced. In those times we have consoled her, bolstered her, and encouraged her. We have helped her to always see the positive in her friends first but don’t let the disappointments catch her by surprise.  Above all, we have encouraged her to be the type of friend to others that she desires from others.

Family is precious: We have always told Katie, ‘friends come and go, but whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with the family God gave you for life so you better get along with each member of it’. And she does.  She has welcomed and loved every expansion of our family. And she has grieved over the tragic loss our family has experienced.  Through both experiences she has learned the final lesson we have taught her.

Life is precious … so enjoy it, embrace it, run with it, don’t be afraid of it, and hold it dear.

So Andy, before I answer the question presented to me, I have a few questions to ask of my own:

Will you continue to build upon these premises that Karen and I have taught Katie?

To Doug and Janice: Thank you for raising a son that brings out the best in Katie.  Do you give your blessing to this marriage and promise to support them in their life endeavors?

To Karen:  This has been a team effort from day one.  Thank you for raising such a precious daughter.  Do you join me in blessing this marriage and promise to support them in their life endeavors?

Katie and Andy, I want you to look around you. All of these people in this room, by their very presence and by the smiles on their faces, are also expressing their approval of this union and their pledge to support you in your life’s endeavors.

To Ben:  To answer your question: Without any shadow of a doubt, her mother and I proudly do.