Sunday, February 22, 2015

Moving On (dated 6/14/13)

by Richard Edfeldt

After Jacob's death, Karen created this blog to record insights in her grief journey.  I would periodically write my insights on notes posted to my Facebook page.  We feel it would be best served if we combined our efforts so I am beginning the process of copying those notes to this blog.  They won't be in chronological order but I will put the original date on each one. 



It’s been four years since Jacob died and people have moved on. Family and friends have graduated from schools, married, gained jobs,switched jobs, moved to towns, settled into life and have ‘moved on’. We have witnessed marriages and funerals. The world has continued to experience its share of tragedies and heartwarming stories. Everyone has ‘moved on’ in life.

In many ways, so have Karen and I. We have continued in our jobs. We continue to enjoy our hobbies and interests. We see retirement peaking over the horizon and have begun to execute plans to prepare for it, including the purchase of the cabin home where we’ll enjoy those years.

 We adore our grandkids and seek ways to spend more time with them (and Ben and Beth). We yearn for time to pass quickly in order to greet our new granddaughter from Ethiopia. We love spending time with Katie doing things she enjoys – shopping with Karen, Braves games with me. So in many ways we have ‘moved on’. But …

In many ways, we have been left behind while everyone else has ‘moved on’.  There is and will always be a part of us that will be stuck on June 14, 2009. Jacob will always be 21 or the other ages of our memory remembering when Jacob ….

  • Was born
  • Played tee ball
  • Was enduring one of his many hospitalizations
  • Performed in church, school, or community plays
  • Went off to church camps
  • Enjoyed  concerts by Mark Schultz and Avalon with the family
  • Got his first car …. and had his first accident
  • Bickered with his siblings
  • Argued with his parents
  • Caressed his nephew
  • Was enthralled by Wicked, The Phantom, and the other Broadway musicals we saw
  • Enjoyed our Ridgecrest vacations
  • Entertained family with concerts with Katie
  • Danced with his grandmothers
  • Worshiped with upraised arms
  • Went away to college ... and thrived
  • The list goes on and on and on

We understand how time goes on and how people move on. It’s expected. It’s healthy. It’s inevitable And, for the most part, we have too. But,there is and will always be a part of us that will stay behind in order to remember… and to honor a radiant life that we miss terribly.

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